Top Five Reasons Why My Redshirt Year Will Be Harder On My Family
1. My wife has to try to run a household, take care of the baby, and work at the same time. Deep down I know my wife is more than capable of doing whatever needs to be done, but I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt having to leave her at our family home while I go off to prison. The pain that I have caused my family is immeasurable. I know when my daughter yells “Dada”, I will not be home to answer.
2. My wife and I are a team. My actions and inactions have caused my teammate to carry the total burden of carrying on with our lives on the outside by herself. I know she is the one who will have to face the judgmental scrutiny of those members of the community who have apparently never made a mistake.
3. My daughter is too young to understand my absence. She is wonderful, but she is also a handful for someone who has been teaching all day. Furthermore, we have always held the belief that a child needs a mama and a daddy that are present. While I am away, my wife has to be the mother and father to our daughter. When my wife lays her head on her pillow at night my side of the bed will be cold, and she will be keenly aware of my absence and inability to assist.
4. Today, 22 days prior to my departure, my wife found a tick on her side. She was obviously distressed. I was able to calm her down, and remove the tick (before she burned our house down trying to “burn it off”). With my departure looming, I can’t stop wondering what would have happened if I was not here to help. Of course there is another part of me that knows she is quite capable of removing the tick on her own.
5. My wife’s life is on hold while I serve my time. In the last year, I have gone from our homes biggest bread winner to our homes biggest bread eater. I lay awake at night thanking the lord that she is so patient with me while I work to rebuild myself. I know our shared future is at stake.